i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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