i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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