i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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