No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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