It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
