I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
