you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
