If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
