i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
