You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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