Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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