somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
