He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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