I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
