i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
