He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
