I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
