You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
