after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
