I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
