I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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