Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He? As in you personified your dick?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
