Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
