Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
