so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
