I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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