So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize