the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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