My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
