yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
