you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
