new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
