So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
