I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
