I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
