If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
