Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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