ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
