so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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