Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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