plz talk dirty to me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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