Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
