Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize