mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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