Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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