Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
