you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
