i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
