Kiss
Puke
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
