dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize