In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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