she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
