sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize